Sunday, June 20, 2004

i stumbled upon a log file in my com, one dated jan 5 2003, that fateful year, that fateful day. And believe it or not, the personna that displaced mine that night was probably my own roleplaying effort, but then again, i assure you i can never do it again.

[22:11] prot i wanna go back to kpax
[22:11] prot this person, joey, is juz too much for me to handle
[22:12] prot i guess u'll b the nxt best candidate now
[22:12] prot have u done what i instructed u to do the last time?
[22:12] prot the thing about makin the best of your world first?
[22:13] prot have u prepared yourself fully for the journey?
[22:13] Jeffers nope..
[22:13] prot ill be leaving joey come wednesday
[22:13] prot if u are not ready
[22:13] prot i guess someone else has to come
[22:13] prot well don
[22:13] Jeffers lol
[22:13] prot are u ready?
[22:13] prot guess ill leave him in your care
[22:14] prot he doesnt want help
[22:14] prot not from me at least
[22:14] soulSEB ...
[22:14] prot he stopped listening
[22:14] prot he stopped looking at the stars
[22:14] Jeffers coz he started listening to loren
[22:14] Jeffers n looking at loren
[22:14] prot its not that simple jeff
[22:14] prot that is why u are still not ready
[22:14] Jeffers haha...right..
[22:14] Jeffers screw off prot..
[22:14] Jeffers haha
[22:15] prot i guess your time of maturity will come
[22:15] prot not now
[22:15] prot maybe later
[22:15] prot how bout you don
[22:15] prot will you accept my offer
[22:15] prot a ride to the stars?
[22:15] soulSEB depends man.
[22:15] prot a journey thorugh the rabbit hole
[22:15] soulSEB if the ships gonna be full of chicks.
[22:15] soulSEB count me in.
[22:15] soulSEB =)
[22:15] prot where all problems ceize to exist
[22:15] Jeffers ahhahaa
[22:15] prot there will be no ship
[22:16] prot there's no need for that ship
[22:16] soulSEB dang.
[22:16] prot we
[22:16] prot will catch a beam of light
[22:16] soulSEB =P
[22:17] soulSEB i dun hate ppl.
[22:17] soulSEB only the chains they tie themselves to.
[22:17] soulSEB jeff.
[22:17] Jeffers hahah
[22:17] soulSEB =P.
[22:17] prot every one has a mellon tree they believe in
[22:18] prot lemme ask you all a question
[22:18] prot where do mellons grow?
[22:18] soulSEB =)
[22:18] prot tell me truthfully
[22:18] prot where do you believe they grow on or in?
[22:18] soulSEB mellons dun grow on trees lah.
[22:18] prot there
[22:18] soulSEB the earth laR.
[22:18] soulSEB =P
[22:19] soulSEB LoL.
[22:19] prot mellons grow in the ground
[22:19] prot but listen
[22:19] prot> this is serious
[22:19] Jeffers mellons..mellons...
[22:19] prot there was this man
[22:19] prot who believed mellons grew on trees
[22:19] prot the believed in it so hard
[22:19] prot he would not believe anyone that they really grew in the ground
[22:19] prot it held on to that believe till the very end
[22:20] prot where his son brought him to a mellon patch he grew in the back yard to prove him wrong
[22:20] prot he still believed that it was all a lie
[22:20] prot and he died believing mellons grew on trees
[22:20] prot all of us have mellon trees
[22:20] prot sometimes
[22:21] prot its these trees that make people ugly
[22:21] prot blind
[22:21] prot and surely
[22:21] prot they would make big mistakes
[22:21] prot say hitler as an example
[22:21] prot he saw his people's superiority as the truth
[22:21] prot a mellon tree he believed in till his very end
[22:21] soulSEB hitler was a great man wad.
[22:21] prot exactly
[22:21] prot he believed so hard in it
[22:22] prot he felt what he did was right
[22:22] prot its was just that
[22:22] prot all of us
[22:22] prot believed otherwise
[22:22] prot we believed that mellons grew in the ground
[22:22] prot thats y we persecute him
[22:22] prot so
[22:22] prot dont blame others for the mellon tree they so believe in
[22:22] prot it may bother you and others around this dreamer
[22:23] prot BUT
[22:23] prot its these little mellon trees that keep one alive
[22:23] soulSEB but a fact of life is that u conform to ur surroundings wad, not the other way ard.
[22:23] prot passionate for living throught the nxt day
[22:23] prot its the irony of it
[22:23] prot its because that these pple fail to change their surroundings
[22:23] soulSEB even for a person who has lost his sanity.
[22:24] soulSEB being kept in the asylum.
[22:24] prot or their dream's a mission impossible.
[22:24] prot that's y pple keep mellon trees
[22:24] prot some really big
[22:24] prot others mere saplings
[22:24] prot the big ones go to asylums
[22:24] prot the rest live on
[22:24] prot believing and wanting to believe
[22:24] prot all of us have our mellon trees
[22:24] soulSEB but when ur mellon trees affect the ppl around u in a negative way, it's time to get rid of it.
[22:24] prot its just the size of it that differentiates us
[22:25] prot precisely
[22:25] prot its a selfish belief
[22:25] prot the mellon trees
[22:25] prot many keep it to themselves
[22:25] prot but others egg the rest to believe in their mellon trees
[22:25] prot these people are not evil
[22:25] prot just terribly misguided
[22:25] prot in Earth's society
[22:26] prot we put these people away
[22:26] prot or we simply isolate them
[22:26] prot its a sad reality really
[22:26] soulSEB the world doesn't revolve ard u alone, don't try to justify ur mellon trees just becoz it's a sign of ur individuality.
[22:26] prot yes
[22:27] prot the mellon tree is actually an escape
[22:27] prot from the world
[22:27] prot from society
[22:27] prot and reality
[22:27] Jeffers crap...ALL CRAP!!!!
[22:27] prot people who grow them are quite sad really
[22:27] * Jeffers has left #edge
[22:27] prot but there is a mellon tree in all of us
[22:27] prot somewhere
[22:27] prot a seedling maybe
[22:27] prot or perhaps just a seed
[22:28] prot because of social norms and standards
[22:28] prot we supress them
[22:28] prot well
[22:28] prot i guess i have done my fair share tonight
[22:28] prot its a far fetched comparison
[22:29] prot it because of these mellon trees that i leave people
[22:29] prot like robert portman
[22:29] prot and joey
[22:29] prot they lose sight of what is real
[22:29] prot : )
[22:29] prot with this i part

WOW. im thankful i found this, it meant a lot to me, maybe my alter ego said it, maybe i said all this but forgot about it, whatever it was, it is beautiful.

Posted by Jo