Thursday, October 18, 2007
Perhaps i was wrong to say that my desired calm, comes from watching a storm in close shelter. Today i learnt that renewal comes from standing in it, embracing all that it has to offer.
In a moment of madness, i seeked the storm and it came today. Relentless winds and an outpouring like never before. Maybe it could bring me peace and it did. As i journeyed to the pinnacle, i attempted to replicate that familiar moments many years ago at the place with blue stars. I stood there in the rain with my black umbrella, struggling to find the calm that i recalled. I failed. I toss my shelter, casted it upon the ground beside me, this time allowing myself to be assailed by the full glory of the rain. This time i found it. Initially i struggled, but soon, the rain became me and felt renewed. For that moment, time stopped, and seconds turned to minute, and minutes into hours. The rain never ceased, it just poured and poured regardless. There was no one, and thus the moment was mine alone. In the rain, i found my calm, not just any rain, but a cleansing one, as i felt the past like grime slipping off me. Memories coalesce with water, as i find myself looking skywards, with wings outspread, like a groom embracing the cold formless body of his bride. I noticed my favorite ripples as a staccato of drips defying the form of the cold concrete garden. They were free, as i was now. And how powerful they are as they form currents within the structure, flowing endlessly, unstoppable , taking over the entire form of the garden, converting it into a benign structure, that failed to contain their coming. No voice came from above, but i knew an Ear listened. I stood there, realizing that solace comes only from His gifts. Thank you for the rain. I exhaled my thoughts in smoke, as the rain disperses it, spreading it thinly, in hope someone may hear them. A peace descended. A peace that can only be achieved in the sublime embrace of nature. And in the rain, even tears do not exist, for they merely become the rain, joining the countless droplets in their struggle for renewal. All is changed, all is new. A new beginning
Posted by Jo