Thursday, September 18, 2008
A certain fear, like icy fingers gripping my still beating heart, squeezing all warmth from it, pushing teardrops skywards to my eyes. I blinked hard and they were gone, as quickly as they came. The flux in which i have lived frightened me, the speed of which my heart has came and gone, time has came and gone, and memories aging like yellow photographs falling like autumnal leaves in a cloudy misty day. White fur and a furtive bark amidst a back drop of cool suburbia, a gentle puff of smoke and mist as a exhaled into a landscape of unknown bounty. Lanterns of endless flight as hope are cast into the horizon as i saw my hopes rise up with my wishes on a bulb of wishes, for love, for glory, and off it went into tomorrow, never to return of yet. I blinked again, a garden quietly counched for two, gilded by the glow of candles and the haunting dim light of lanterns marked a walk down sorrow's path. These countless photos spill forth like a broken dam, blasting away the artifices that attempt to hold it back. Read on o faithful readers, for in a minute i don my mask again, i play those roles that all of you are too familiar with. Existential rambling perhaps, but the structures suggest a gentle cry for help. As strength, emotionally ebbs, i ponder how my journey trembled on like a ceaseless train, hurtling endlessly into tomorrow, a soulless journey, one empty of reflection as I struggle to reconstruct testimonies to my achievements, but no testimonies to my self save relationships. This cry, a gentle moan has decided that its innocuous pleas should not stay further silenced. I desire to slow down, to extricate myself from this wheel of life, that has turned endlessly with each fall, and without tending to wounds i have stood up bravely, stupidly perhaps into new tomorrows, grasping at the certainty of sunset, assuming each dawn carried perhaps my eternal happines. I struggle, i claim and proclaim, i am an artist, and welcome to this brief window of truth into a fragilly broken and repressed spirit. Tomorrow is a beautiful day, and you shall all see that familiar smile that is me. But remember this moment.
Posted by Jo